small chat on a red light
"red"
the car slows to a stop in front of the red glowing orb.
it was probably evening or winter time, 3pm maybe, where days are shorter and nights are longer. i'm sat on the passenger seat while my mom is on the drivers.
every time it's just me and my mom, even outside of the car, when we're in the kitchen together, standing and leaning on the worktop while sipping our tea, or while she cooks and i unload and load the dishwasher, we talk about many things. sometimes our conversations lead to my childhood and her experience at the time.
i don't remember how the conversation led to that topic. the context being that she had to be away a lot for work. and i mean a lot, she only comes home for 3 weeks in a year before she's back to work far away again.
"i remember, you used to wake us up from our sleep in the middle of the night when you arrive" it felt like christmas every time mama came home.
"and sometimes when you leave, it would also be in the middle of the night when we are asleep, the next day, we'd be surprised you're not there anymore!" i say this lightheartedly, thinking of her and my family being quiet to not wake us up as they carry her things out of the house.
"i know! it's horrible"
i told her "but it's okay, we got used to it eventually" and we did, me and my younger sibling, we grew up getting used to that.
it was easy for me to say those words.
she didn't speak for awhile. so i turned to look at her.
she looked ... pensive. she looked like she was going back in time and had to think about the times she had to leave us in our sleep, sometimes we dropped her off at the airport or the bus station when we had the money and time, and no matter how hard we try, we always say goodbye in tears. little hands clutching on mama's clothes, and leaving tear stains on them.
and she finally spoke "it was never easy to be away from you two" she sounded like she was trying her hardest to stop her voice from wavering. and i swear, even if i saw it briefly, her eyes held tears when she looked to her window side.
i didn't say anything after that.
an orange glow casted over us before i say
"green"