my actual thoughts
i wanted to rant about that experience but i ended up writing an awkward poem. if something, even if it's small, stays on my head for long, at night before i go to sleep, i dump it somewhere to sort of start anew the next day. like a closing shift, the thoughts of today gets written, filed in a cabinet for records, more likely to be forgotten.
it's just a mere walk yet i was acting that way. was i being annoying for wanting to see those trees? was i ruining the fun or ruining the mood by opening my mouth and speaking my thoughts? i felt the oneness of everyone's mood at the time. i felt like i was annoying them. if only i kept my mouth shut and never suggested such things. if only i kept them to myself and only mentally marked those roads for me to visit later on.
it was probably wrong timing... or probably the wrong crowd... what struck me on that nuance walk we had was what my friend said "you'll find trees more worthy of your time later on"
that's when i was reminded how different we are.
see, when i go on walks alone, i do follow a route to get from point a to point b. simple. when i walk alone though, i like noticing things around me. if something interesting caught my eye, a plum tree in bloom, a garden, pink cosmos, a hidden charity shop, a small flower shop, a cafe, a secondhand bookstore, more likely than not, i will go and look closely. and in these small moments of me going off the route, it has led me to places that was cool and never would have known have been there. for instance, finding a photobooth and a big food court after entering an interestingly looking arch way that many people walk in and out of.
another thing is, i have this thought of "when will be the next time i will see this or be in this place again?" if i didn't look closely or go, i would've found that photobooth, i would've seen beautiful flowers in full bloom on a sunny spring day (and sun is rare in this country)
those things are worth my time. wildflowers on a hike, flowers in full bloom in somebody else's garden. the smallest things that most probably think otherwise.
i don't know where this ramble is going towards, or what the goal of this blog is. i've thought about this and written enough, i'm going to let this go.