is it really so bad being a creative?
in this society and economy?
i'm basing this from what i see and know... or i'm being unfair for not knowing enough.
for so long i have been interested in photography. early teens, learned the basics online, gifted a dslr, took my camera everywhere, was the photographer of the family, kept taking photos, took photography class in school, which was my favorite class.
i was asked "what would you do in the future?" "be a photographer or in the film industry" they paused and nod their head and "no seriously what career would you do in the future?" i answered "psychologist"
should i keep my hobby as a hobby or should i seriously pursue it? i'm in a constant battle of 'keep it safe' by not turning something i do to rest, turn into work. what i do to destress, be stressful. what i love to do, turn into hate. what i find fun, become boring. i don't want an art so close to my heart be ruined when it's the only thing keeping me sane on this planet. as dramatic as it sounds it's true. if i don't have the arts to turn to, what else will be my haven? where else can my mind and soul rest?
i'm plagued by fear. of whether i'm missing an opportunity, whether it's the better option to have it started now. start taking my hobby seriously, learn and understand deeper about it, learn how to "get myself out there", and see if it's not as bad as it sounds. because how will i know if i don't do it? or realise later on that they were right. i should've started this in the first place.
but who's there to say which option is best. in reality, with either option, you have to find your way no matter what, you have to stick with it.
i'm doing so much thinking of future possibilities and future failures.
but for now, i'll start small, make time for photography, stick with the complete opposite of the arts course i'm working towards and if i completely lose interest and find myself thinking that if i stick with this, my life will be miserable, at least i get a degree in the end. and who knows what i will do after that.