i don't say the full ily phrase often
i do say ily, ilyt but i value saying the full phrase, so much.
for me, it loses its meaning when it is said so casually, throwing the full phrase makes it feel like it weighs nothing, almost insincere when it isn't something to be told in such way.
here's how i say it.
i wait for it to come to me. through my feelings towards this person at the moment. the feeling of a deep sense of gratitude by having this person in my life.
i said (typed) it a few minutes ago to a friend. we were messaging each other back and forth for the past hour. having a deep talk about adulting and individual growth. the yearning for independence and wanting to know yourself. these are the things i can't talk to with just anyone. i choose the people i share my personal dilemma's with. sometimes i choose the right people, sometimes i don't. and that's okay that doesn't change anything i feel for them.
but to be listened to, understood, and continue the momentum of understanding in a conversation about such topic. evokes this feeling of gratefulness. makes my heart feel seen and happy that my heart wants to hug theirs too!
and that's when i say the phrase. i allow my heart to hug theirs.