escaping the city to the Bear coffee shop
currently overwhelmed so i'm here. visiting a coffee shop hidden within cornershops. away from the hustle and bustle of the city. the city being the internet and adulting stuff.
i was at peace, but of course it doesn't really last. not that everything turned into grey in a blink, though it does happen but this time.. it's more like a drop of grey on my colorful, still wet painting. the grey slowly stains the color at the corner of my painting. it's just a tiny drop.
i'm putting actions to seep this grey away from my painting. then a few more grey drops start to drip on my painting. so here i am. leaving my painting and running to the coffee shop.
i will go back to it, i have to. but for now, i will share some things i have read lately that got me thinking about the current stuff happening at the moment.
parallel careers where each job is complementary, neither is secondary
this is from a book i'm currently reading: What you are looking for is in the library by Michiko Aoyama.
it contains short stories of different people. i think it's a good book for me at the moment, it fits whatever's whirling in my mind. i have finished chapter 2 yesterday and so far, both chapters have resonated with me. or at least i can pluck something from each chapter. this quote i got, is from chapter 2 and resonates the most.
i have photography mentioned in some of my blogs already, and i am studying psychology. after reading chapter 2, i wrote on my journal to reflect on this. "how does psychology and photography compliment each other?" "is it possible to combine these two clearly contrasting careers?" "it would please everyone including myself" "at least i can still do something i enjoy" when i wrote the word enjoy my hand stopped. the ink bled through the paper. it's clear what i really want to do.
recently i asked my friends "if you didn't know me, what course would you guess i would be studying?" one answered "definitely in the creative arts" the other "photography, film, in media for sure" and that made me smile, made my heart warm. and my friend later says "i keep forgetting you're a psychology student because you never talk about it" and we burst into laughter.
in a world where you don't know what will happen next, i just do what i can right now
this is also from the same book, but it's what i plucked form chapter 1. this is what i have been trying to practice. to not think further and deep ahead, and just do what i can at the moment. which is a bit crazy to practice this when here i am too focused on what route i should take regarding academics.
to do something practical not knowing what will happen next, and be a waste (?) when i could've been doing something i like (?) is like enough reason? in a world where you don't know what will happen next, i just do what i can right now... i have to sit with this for longer.
sincerely a 26 year old still figuring it out
this i saw on insta while scrolling through reels. she didn't use her degree, starts a business, quits that business, goes back to uni for a second degree. i thought, that could be me.
i look at the comments sharing their experiences "we still have time" "we're all still figuring it out" it's comforting to know that there are people who are on the same boat, also recognising how difficult it is to be making decisions "sometimes you have to be selfish"
living just in case something good happens
this i saw while scrolling as well. i just thought of the greenest trees i get to see during sunny days, the swaying of overgrown grass in the wind, and the golden hour i just saw yesterday while driving with my mom, hanging out with my friends, seeing a friend achieve something big and cheer him on, getting inspired in photography again, movies that further inspire me in the creative field, and many other things.. i thought... i would've missed these things.
i will keep living knowing good things will happen.
well that's all i have at the moment. now i have to go back.
we can do this.
one thing at a time
one thing at a time