cigarette candies
im a social smoker i think and i can't stand the smell of smoke coming from cigarettes when i'm sober.
i only smoke when i'm drinking and when i feel like it. im not too big on drinking alcohol too. i only drink if i feel like it. so smoking only happens on rare occasions. though i have to admit, the mixture of the numbing effects of the alcohol, the good vibes with the people you're with, and the buzzing effects of the cigarette makes me want to keep going. i smoke, drink, and socialise as if it's my last night on earth. trying to keep that feeling before it's gone in the morning and my body can no longer keep up "let this fun night last longer"
i had a dream one night that i had the best cigarette in the world. i couldn't taste any tobacco. honestly it felt like i was smoking those cigarette candies straight up. it was sweet and mentholly. my throat and chest felt cold in the inhale and when i exhaled the smoke my body was buzzing. it felt good.
i told my friend the moment i woke up and she said "are you relapsing?" i smiled at the crazy remark, she then told me to smoke one stick.
but i didn't. i didn't have a packet of cigarettes lying around or hidden in a drawer. last time i bought one i left it at my friend's house (which she still has) i didn't have the strong urge to go buy a packet, because they cost a hell lot. i'd rather buy food.